‘The Tibetans don’t even have a word for guilt – only ‘remorse’ and this is different. Whereas guilt plays out as a mindless and repetitive attack on our worth as a person, remorse is simply a clear acknowledgement that we have made a mistake, taking full responsibility without taking it quite so personally, (Sarah Napthali, Buddhism for Parents on the Go.)’
Motherhood sometimes feels like a thankless task. But the Buddhist advise shows that this is actually a creation of our own minds, rather than a true reflection of our relationship with our children or our ability as a mother. Show me a person who hasn’t made mistakes and I will show you a liar. It is what we do with this mistakes that matters. Errors in judgement, mistakes, things we wish we could do differently – however we word them, there is a litany of things we might do differently if we weren’t sleep deprived, harassed by an inquisitive toddler and generally running on empty.
I would love to have endless patience. My patience levels have certainly improved since having children through necessity, although it is much easier to practise patience, mindful parenting and calmness on days when everything is going well.